I am hoping I can put into words the flood of emotion I had last night.
Gabe and I had planned on a special night with just Noah. We wanted to take him to a nice restaurant, and get him all dressed up, because the concert we were taking him to was a really big deal. Paul Cardall, a musician whom shares Noah's same heart defect, received a heart transplant last September. Last night, he had a concert at Abravanel Hall to 'Celebrate Life'. I was looking forward to this night for months, however, I did not prepare myself to experience all the emotions I did. When we arrived, they had a slide show playing, and Noah's beautiful face showed up. I didn't know they were going to have any of the CHD kids displayed, so that was a nice treat. They also had a poster set-up with kids from our heart group, Intermountain Healing Hearts, and again, his cute little face was displayed. I told him I felt like I should ask him for his autograph because he was so famous. The look on his face was priceless, he was beaming with happiness. We arrived there kind of late, so a few minutes after we stepped foot in the doors, we went to our seats to wait until the concert started. Gabe and I sat Noah in the middle of us, so we could both squeeze him throughout the show. There were a few song writers, that were friends of Paul's, that opened before he came onto stage. Noah kept asking when Paul was coming on, he was so excited. Finally he took the stage and everyone gave him a much deserved standing ovation before he even sat at the piano to play.
There were a lot of slide shows to watch which were set to his music. There was one in particular that really stood out to me. It was basically Paul's life from when he was listed for a heart transplant, until he received one and began to recover in the hospital. This is what the night was about. Celebrating a life long journey of a man and his family, and a scary time of waiting for a heart to become available, and then receiving a second chance at life. It also terrified me. Watching him as an adult, really made me think about what Noah's future might have in store. I don't allow myself to think that far ahead very often, but at that moment, I could not stop wondering. I really try to take every step as it comes, and know that he has done amazing with the repairs to his heart he has already received. Most of the time when I breakdown, it is reflecting back on his life, and all the ups and downs we have gone through. Last night I REALLY feared for the future. NOT that things can't be done, NOT that miracles haven't already occurred, and definitely NOT that he is unhealthy at the moment. It just hit me that I really NEVER allow myself to think so far ahead, which I believe is a good thing. I felt his loving embrace as he held his Mommy, because he could tell she needed to know he was okay. Without a word spoken, he told me that. I felt it was very ironic that the 10 year old was the one reassuring me everything is fine, and he is perfect.
Unfortunately we had to leave before the concert ended, because Gabe had to go into work. I took Noah to the lobby where he picked out a CD while Gabe pulled the truck around for us. Noah was thrilled about the whole night, and for a young child, he understood life at that moment on so many levels that even most adults are not able to comprehend.
Click on the link to watch the video of 100+ kids with CHD (Noah is at 6:55)
(I still can not figure out how to make the actual video show up on my blog. If you can share the secret of how it is done, I would be very happy!)